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Author Topic: Kevin Oldham Update (Remember Kevin from the Classic with Swindle)  (Read 1695 times)

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I have hesitated and procrastinated in making an entry. But I feel that it is time for me to share some of the events of the last week beginning with Tuesday--the day we were supposed to go to Disney.
That day Kevin was scheduled for a procedure to allow him to eat without vomiting. Instead, with the violence of the vomiting, his pain and even some chest pain, it ended up being a very long day in the emergency room.
After some testing and scans, it was confirmed that the tumor blockage in Kevin's bowel was more extensive than in the previous scans. Additionally, there were extensive pulminary emboli (blood clots in the lungs), which likely caused the chest pain.
Once stabalized, transferred to a cardiac floor and made comfortable we started having some discussions about what might be to come. Before the doctors even arrived, Kevin and I looked at each other in the eyes and knew. It was time to stop this.
His body has been ravaged. Without any real nutrition for several days already, the extreme loss of weight, and now chest pain and blood was time to rest. He fought long and hard. He took every opportunity that was placed in front of him and he used them wisely.
Without talking about the medical or logistic details, I looked at Kevin and told him how proud of him I am, how brave he has been, and how hard I thought he had fought for his 3 best girls (from the beginning he always told us he was fighting for his '3 best girls'). 
And then I told him it was okay for him to rest. He looked at me and I have never seen tears stream down his face so freely. All he did was hug me and all he said was thank you. Then after we stopped crying, he cried more and told me that it was the greatest gift next to my hand in marriage for me to release him and tell him is is okay to stop this.

So, since last Wednesday Kevin has been in hospice. They are wonderful here. They keep him very comfortable, respond quickly and include me very closely in this transitional process. This was a good choice. The girls have come to see Daddy here. There were even some 'Disney Princesses' that came to help make the place Daddy is getting ready for heaven in fun and magical!
Kevin has visited with his best friends and his family. And now he is finished visiting. He is not accepting anymore visitors. He has said that it is just him and I now. He wants his peace. The moment he said that, he began sleeping more. He has only been awake about 30 of 45 minutes today. I soaked them up. I talk to him, hug him, sit by him, I type, I even wrote his obituary! Somehow the days are flying by.

You all should know that Kevin is at peace. He told everyone who has visited that he is excited to go and live with the Lord. He told everyone, including doctors, that he is saved and so he wants to go now. For the last couple of days he has told me that it was a good day to may sound morbid to you but it is not. We are peaceful with this. Kevin is tired, he deserves to let go and LET GOD now. It is out of our hands...just as the rest of this has been. 

God has made amazing things happen this last year of Kevin's life. I have so many memories burned in my head. From the day of Kevin's dreadful diagnosis, to our perfect Christmas, a Florida vacation, each moment we waited for the results of scans, the mornings I chased the girls out of the room so Daddy could rest, giving him meds and shots, and him LIVING through his fight with cancer. We lived, really lived. I am so proud of that. I am so proud of him!

So, you are probably wondering how much time is left...we do not know. It could be tonight. It could be in 2 or 3 days. But his minutes are coming to an end.

I want to share two things that I shared with our family when I updated them today. I hope this helps you understand why I can be at peace with this despite my desperate sorrow in losing my dear husband and best friend:
Kevin and I believe that God does not measure your age in years...we decided that he measures how long you should be here on earth in fulfilling the missions and purpose he has for your life. Kevin, even in hospice, has accomplished meaningful moments--touched people's lives, spoke of his faith and shared his confidence in his salvation. And further, although shorter than what we had hoped for, our marriage together has been so fulfilling. We grew so much and did so many things. Mission accomplished.

And the other thing is this....I used to tell Kevin that God gave him to me and Kevin used to say that about me. We were gifts to each other from God. But, to think of it that now would only make me angry and bitter because God is taking those gifts away. I have realized, though, that God OWNS it all, even his prescious children. God loaned Kevin to me as my beloved husband. God made Kevin a part of my life that I can look back on and love and that I have learned so much from. But my loan is coming due. God wants Kevin back now...Kevin is going to go home to his Maker. And I am thankful for every moment of that loan!
(and as I also mentioned to our families, this all makes sense to me now as I watch Kevin's chest slowly rise and fall; I can still see and touch him. But, please remind me when I crash and burn and choose to forget all this logic, that God had a plan!)

I will continue to keep you updated and I am not ready to close the caring bridge site yet. This has been a record for you and for ME...and will continue to be something I will always have for my little baby girls. I hope that they will be proud of how their mommy and daddy traveled this journey.  So, until the next time, please pray for an quick and easy passing for Kevin...his heart's desire is to be in heaven.

"Not in the clamor of the crowded streets nor in the shouts and plaudits of the throng, but within oneself lies victory or defeat."


Re: Kevin Oldham Update (Remember Kevin from the Classic with Swindle)
« Reply #1 on: March 24, 2011, 08:59:57 PM »

Prayers sent.
Jesus Christ and the Men and Women of the United State Military are the only ones who have died for me.I thank them daily.
 God Bless
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