Great Lakes Bass Fishing Forum

An old man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years.

He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice: Picnic tables, horseshoe courts, a volleyball court, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond and look  it over, as he hadn't been there in a while. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.

He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you  leave!"

The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked."

Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."
   Old men can still think fast.

Now that is funny.

Very cute.  Try this one...

It's Mr. and Mrs. Smith's anniversary.  For the occasion, Mr. Smith asks his wife what she would like as a gift.  She replies "Something shiny and that goes from 0 to 200 in 4 seconds flat."  After some thought and a trip to the store Mr. Smith came back and presented his wife with a brand new bathroom scale.  DOH!

 An aspiring young actor finally got a job and called his father to give the good news. He explained to his dad that he would be playing the part of a man who had been married for 20 years to the same woman.
His dad congratulated him and told him that perhaps if he did a good job and paid attention that some day maybe he could get a speaking role.